Updates and Blog

February 23rd, 2024

Okay, I figure I should also write up something quick about what's new and what's going on with me. Once again, very sorry for the lack of any kind of activity on here at all, things have gone from bad to worse to well, I don't even know now. After my last semester at university I realized I could just no longer afford, either money-wise or energy wise to keep doing huge commutes to my university and I dropped. Since then I've basically just become a NEET, which sucks in many ways but I feel it was also pretty inevitable. I mean, the university is one of the few places I'm actually barely tolerated as a queer very neurodivergent person and what few jobs there are out here aren't exactly real keen on hiring someone like me, especially with all the other shit I've got going on that makes life difficult. So yeah, I want to believe I'm giving myself a rest, and I think that is true to an extent but I'm also feeling like I'm slowly rotting. It's a pretty impossible situation given I can't exactly be out and about but I am slowly but surely losing my mind trapped in this room. I fear I may not be able to leave. It feels inevitable that I won't survive here, but we'll just have to see.

October 7th,2023

Hello all, apologies for the silence and lack of updates. Life is looking very different for me now than it was over the summer, and most of it is for the worse sadly. I major car accident destroyed my car, and caused a number of other issues for me. I was forced out of my old apartment in August, and was forced to move into my parent's again, parents that have caused me pretty significant trauma over the years of my childhood and continue to cause grief, as now they have a traumatized autistic trans girl in their house, and don't know/acknowledge it. Since returning to this hell-hole, my already unstable mental state got significantly worse, preventing me from even functioning many days. adding on top of that, I'm now almost an hour's drive from much of any civilization, at least most civilization that will actually tolerate me existing there. That distance has become hell to me, as now I'm having to commute for over an hour to get anywhere in a car that isn't mine that causes me a good deal of physical pain. All this upheaval had pretty well crushed a lot of projects and plans that I had, including most of my game development projects and my cyberdeck. I hope to one day return to them but only time will tell. For months now I lacked the energy to do anything at all with the website, even to just update art pages. I'm quite glad to be doing some work on it again, though I don't expect this to be regular anytime soon, especially not while living here. If you're reading this, well... thanks for swinging by I suppose, and hopefully you'll hear from me again, hopefully in a place that isn't slowly tearing me apart.