hai, I’m finally getting around to actually making this part of the website. I’ve been wanting to for a while now. Anything I put here will likely be rambley and
meandering, and probably lacking my usual standard of polish. I don’t know what I’ll talk about, probably just whatever comes to mind, I guess. For example today’s
adventure has been rediscovering my love of music visualizers, like the ones included with Windows Media Player and iTunes. I remember listening to the default
music and whatever random music CDs of my parents I could find (mostly Christian stuff, go figure) and watching that visualizer do its thing (and no one thought I was
autistic back then? I was like 8). It was honestly magical. I didn’t listen to music without that visual aspect. I think this has a lot to do with my brain just kind of
inventing visuals for music that I’m listening to, and also probably explains why I love Tetris Effect so much. It’s a culmination of my childhood experiences with the
computer, music, visuals, Tetris.
I love Tetris. It’s probably my first video game experience ever. I played Tetris Worlds for the PC. It was like nothing else to me back then, with the trance soundtrack and odd tetrimino characters and unusual plot, it is pretty essential to me as a person. And don’t get me wrong I was ass at Tetris back then, I mean I was 8, that’s not unexpected. I wasn’t good at any video game, though I did beat Yoshi’s Island, still quite proud of that.
I feel like I’m in a much better position to think about these parts of my past now, It’s been quite a path to get there but it’s nice. I’m learning to be comfortable with knowing that even though I will change, that change is who I am. I’m continuing to move forward, trying new things and changing, and through doing that learning more about my identity; especially in regard to gender expression, and worldview, which I want to talk more in length about in a later update. Needless to say, a lot is starting to make sense, and It's really, really nice to find other people that have similar experiences and to talk to them and hear their story. Anyway that’s probably enough rambling for now, thanks for reading. ヾ(•ω•`)o